hEaDS uP!!

hey...heads up!! because i think i'm falling....
falling to that whirl pool of centripetal emotion
to that topsy turvy joy ride to the unknown
that will cause heart pounding euphoria

i think i'm falling in love again......

it was not planned nor was anticipated it just happened..
i'm at a state where my senses are hypersensitive...
where the transmission of impulses from one synapse to the other
is just a fraction of the usual speed ...
when you can't wait for the day to end so that the next will begin...

yup...i think that is love...

it would just hit you in the head when you least expected it...

i think love and death works the same way...

you'll just never know when they'll be coming for you..

it may come at an early age or when you're at your last few years

yes. i'm happy...just the thought of loving makes me smile.

i'm in love.

sleep.....

your eyes are so heavy, and vertigo is your last name

you crave for something soft and fluffy to lie o

and you don't care about the world around you

all you want is to go home and catch some zzzz's

but you can't 'cause sleeping is not part of your itinerary

you try to make sense but basically your so stuporous

you can't even check if your spelling for this blog your is correct

and if there' a thought and coherency that was form...

FUCK! I DON"T GIVE A DAMN.....

i'm freakin sleepy!!!!!

an unsual day...

what did i do today? hmmm....let me think, sleep till the day was over ( literally but for me it is just started) bum around as if life was just made without any worries, went to work without the the hassle of traffic, worked and did not feel any pressure and let everything passed without thinking of what lies tomorrow...... indeed a very unusual day

signs

this week was a hell of a week for me. as in literally hot as hell. i almost burned our house down. talk about bringing up the heat. then i came to realized that maybe this was a sign. but a sign from where? does God send fire as away of reminding you of something? yes. when He showed Himself to Moses and when He poured hail of fire to egypt. but the fire is also a sign from the one "below". really don't know i'll just go with the former.

then after that very unfortunate and memorable experience. my folks (yeah, they did nag me for a long period of time) thought that maybe i was just loosing the connection with Him. they asked me to threw away my good stuff (my educational adult cds; i didn't have the slightest idea that they do know that i have those-parents!) and asked if i do still go and celebrate mass (celebrate not hear cause we don't just hear it we should celebrate). i know what you're thinking. what a superstitious folks i have.

but i do think that i'm loosing my grip this past few weeks (i'm also a believer you know!). maybe both spiritually and mentally. i do still go to mass but lately it is as if it just so mechanical. and i'm having lots of thought lately a mixture of pressure at work, studies, " personal stuff " and other petty things.

now things are going a little bit smoothly we have covered the burned part nicely, me and my parents conspired to keep this incident our little secret so not to worry our beloved neighbors and i'm starting to bring my composure back. picking up bits and pieces of my life....slowly.

tRaPpEd

I’m taking a big leap
I’m going somewhere deep
I’m losing all sleep
I’m climbing so steep

don't know where to go
if i should take things slow
if i should go low
i just don't know

now things are new
now my options are few
now with a different view
a little anxious too

as if somebody is watching
somebody is there waiting
and always listening
just a thought just a feeling

always a thought
an answer sought
a feeling i've fought
i feel i'm caught

now that i'm near
and everything is clear
there's one thing i fear
i might not get out of here

me

i'm like an abyss

beyond your thoughts

covered with mist

do know why I exist

to confront, to resist

to be deviant and defiant

a non conformist that persist

with ideals that'll insist

assume nothing

and question everything

do things without regrets

and the mistakes i do not forget

i'm beyond shallow comprehension

with unlimited variations

i'm as complex as it goes

beyond the superficiality that shows

like anyone else still searching

still digging, still learning

still picking up the mess

and just doing my best

blog as therapy??

tthis would be my first log to to my own blog..

well i guess this would be a good therapy for me..

so hold your horses coz im joining this crap..

i'm having issues lately and like other demented people you need an outlet

as per Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

therapy:

Etymology: New Latin therapia, from
Greek therapeia, from therapeuein, of or relating to the treatment of disease or
disorders by remedial agents or methods and providing or assisting in a
cure

i'm not sick....(just in case you're worrying)

so what's the fuzz all about???

nahh i'm not going to spill it out ......not yet